Bizarre Foods w/ Jen and Pat

As I won't be in Australia much longer, Jen and I have decided to get a bit of culture. What better way to immerse yourself in a new country than by eating all of its weirdest, fringe fruits? So we headed off to Rusty's Market, an open-air produce market in downtown Cairns. We were inspired by the king of bizarre foods, Andrew Zimmern, who went to the same market and ate many of the same fruits.

We started off with a sapodilla, a brown fruit that looks kind of like a kiwi. It tasted a bit like caramel, but we weren't a fan of the odd, grainy texture. Would probably be good as a dessert if it was cold and eaten with some ice cream.


Next was the passion fruit. Not quite as weird as the others, but not something you often find at Shaws. Very tart and very slimy. The texture was sort of like slurping melted tapioca pudding with crunchy seeds. Two thumbs up from Pat, two thumbs down from Jen (she prefers her passion fruit in ice cream or lemonade, not straight-up).


Then came the star apple, which neither tasted nor looked like an apple and had no discernible star? Soupy and milky, faintly sweet. Sort of like cutting open a fruit and finding a sloppy, purple yogurt inside. I thought it tasted sort of milky, Jen thought it tasted like vomit. Thumbs down all around, but certainly the strangest of the fruits. Extra points for the weirdness factor.

Last, but not least, was the black sapote. We were fairly excited to eat this fruit, because it's other name is the Chocolate Pudding Fruit. How great would that be?


Inside, the fruit was dark brown - a promising start! The flesh was soft, easily spooned, and a bit dry. The texture - a bit like a boiled sweet potato. Kind of grainy, a bit dry. And the flavor? Well, hate to let everyone down, but it really had almost no taste. Try as we might, neither of us could taste the chocolate we'd been promised. Maybe we got a bad one!

Bungy Jumping in Cairns!

Today, laughing in the face of gravity, Jen and I bungy jumped at A J Hackett's site in Cairns. What a beautiful place to jump. The site is in the rainforest, surrounded by mountains, streams, and heavy tropical vegetation, not to mention some crazy spiders (we'll get to those in a later post).



We were driven to the site by an amiable rastafarian with killer dreads and a painful looking piercing through the bridge of his nose. Must be a killer job - all the jumps he wants for free.

After signing and initialing a waiver in two dozen places - If you die, it's your own damn fault for doing something so stupid - we were led out to the observation deck. The jumping platform suddenly seemed much higher than the brochure let on. We climbed the three thousand or so stairs to the top, where we paused to take in the view (although Jen was blind without her glasses) - and catch our breath. Eventually, we sat down to be strapped in by the ankles. When asked how long he'd been working there, the jump tech said, "Since 7:30 this morning." Hilarious.

When asked if he could work it out so that we dipped into the water, the tech did some math in his head - rubbing his temples and squinting while the cogs turned - and then told his assistant to let out a few more meters of rope, more or less. You know, eyeball it. Very reassuring.

And then, of course, it was time to walk to the edge. Strapped together, thumbs hooked into one another's safety belts, and basically trussed up like lambs bound for the spit, Jen and I shuffled toward the edge of the platform. "Toes over the edge," the tech instructed. It was then that I noticed that Jen was a bit reluctant - it took a long time to get those toes over the edge - foreshadowing the jump ahead. "Wrap your inner arms around each other's waists, and stick your outer arms into the air. That way, you break the water with your hands instead of your face." Sage advice, and simple enough.



The only time I felt nervous was as the countdown began. I was fine on the climb, fine looking down, but the countdown made it much more real. I was going to jump from 170 ft with a thick rubber band to break my fall... But hey, A J Hackett has never had a fatality, so the worst I had to fear was paralysis. "FivefourthreetwooneJUMP!"

We didn't so much jump as awkwardly fall forward off the platform. Jumping in tandem is tricky, particularly with your feet bound together, and even more difficult when one of the jumpers is frightened for her life. I don't think we'd even cleared the deck before Jen's arms were wrapped in a stranglehold around my torso and her head was ducked into my chest. She may deny it, but there's photo evidence!! :) As I felt her duck in, I thought, "Well, that's not right. Guess it's up to me to break the fall." Dutifully, I screamed and stuck my free arm up (or, at that point, down, I suppose). Unfortunately, we didn't quite reach the water...my hand came within inches, but just not far enough. At that point, all the blood in my body rushed into my head...and we started back up. After bouncing around for a while, laughing and screaming, we were lowered safely into a boat below. The fall itself is beyond description - you've gotta try it for yourself.



PS - note that I am proudly representing the Sox while in Oz.


Skydiving is next!

Green Island

Jen finally finished the first half of her SCUBA training - she's officially a Dive Control Specialist! That means that she finally has some time off, so we're trying to act like tourists for a while.

Last Friday, we spent the day on Green Island, a tropical cay off the coast of Cairns. And thanks to backpacker bingo at the Woolshed, where Jen won a free fare, we only had to pay for one person - sweet deal. A cay is basically an island formed of dead coral, so rather than sand, the beaches actually consists of coarse fragments of coral and shells. Birds from the mainland dropped seeds there (from both ends, according to the tour video), which eventually grew into trees, etc., resulting in a rainforest paradise straight out of Swiss Family Robinson. We spent the first half of the day snorkeling in the blue waters off of the island, swimming through the seagrass and coral, checking out the crazy fish, clams, sea turtles, prawns, and other creatures.


I found out that a goatee prevents proper suction with a mask, meaning my mask leaked like a sieve, but Jen, with her SCUBA wisdom, trained me in the fine art of clearing the mask underwater. The alternative was covering my mustache with vaseline - it might help form a seal, but I wasn't about to smear vaseline over my face for the day.

After the snorkeling, we ate lunch while attempting to fend off the aggressive island birds, which chase after french fries like crack addicts. Then we took a stroll around the island. Jen, unfortunately, had a losing run-in with a rock, which resulted in a bloody toe and flapping flesh - gotta watch out for those island rocks, they jump out of nowhere! A kind resort-worker patched her up good as new.


Otherwise, we had a great day on the island. Next on the itinerary: the rainforest.

A few Green Island pics:

Good Morning Cairns

Cairns holds all sorts of surprises in store each morning. When I leave work at 6 am and walk home along the Esplanade boardwalk, I get to watch the sun rise over the bay (see picture above). The picture doesn't really do the sunrise justice, but you get the idea. Every morning I seem to see a new bird hunting in the flats. I still haven't spotted a croc, but I'm told it's only a matter of time.

But not all the surprises are quite as pleasant. A couple of days ago, I woke to find a large, hairy spider lurking in a corner of my apartment. I'm not particularly squeamish, but I'm not a fan of spiders. Needless to say, I went forth with a "take no prisoners" mentality. If Jen had been home, she may have tried to capture the beast alive, but I went straight for the bludgeoning approach. He shook off my first few blows, but eventually succumbed to my tenacity. In the end (as photographed below), he was dead, but not much the worse for wear - certainly not squished flat, as I would have liked. For a while, I figured it was playing opossum, waiting until I was close enough so it could spring and suck the life out of me.

The neighbor told me, "Ahh, don't worry, mate, it's just a baby tarantula." Oh. Is that all? I wonder where the mother is hiding out? Hope she's not mad.


P.S. It could've been worse. This picture (below), taken in a town just west of here, is of a spider that trapped a bird in its web and then began to eat said bird. I think you'd need a shotgun to deal with that sucker.

Pat the Porter

I've been lazy about the blog for the last couple of weeks, but with good reason. I finally found a job! I'm officially a night porter/security guard at a motel/hostel on the Esplanade in Cairns. From 10 pm to 6 am, I sit behind the reception desk, watching the drunks roll by and making sure that only guests are allowed into the motel. It's a lot like babysitting - I just have to make sure all the backpackers behave themselves. If not, three strikes and they're back on the street. Most nights, the motel is quiet - the hardest part of the job is keeping myself busy in the long stretch from midnight to three in the morning. Once the clubs and bars close at three, the drunken backpackers that fill Cairns swarm to a nearby, 24-hour kebab shop for...breakfast? At that time of night/morning, all the interesting characters crawl out of the woodwork. Aussies seem naturally inclined to fight at the slightest sign of provocation - as a result, the crowds outside the kebab shop often get a bit rowdy, which makes for an entertaining morning.

Kebab, by the way, has always meant, as far as I know, some sort of grilled meat on a stick. In Australia, however, kebab shops sell gyros and other pita wraps - nothing on a skewer. On a fairly consistent basis, the wraps taste good but make you sick. I suppose that by one or two in the morning, the food has been sitting around at a comfortable, microbe-building temperature for the better part of 12 hours. Oh well - beggers can't be choosers at 2 am.

The pictures don't have much to do with the post because my boss might frown upon me spending my working hours taking photos. The circus below almost convinced me that I was destined to become a lion tamer - it's never too late to run away with the circus.

Cheers!


P.S. Jen is only about 15 days from completing her initial SCUBA divemaster workoff! The hours are crazy, but she's almost through the first segment! Here is a photo of some strange, snouted fish she saw last week.

Danger Danger Danger

Last week, Jen and I decided we'd like to go for a swim. Problem is, Cairns itself doesn't have a swimming beach - nothing but mudflats and crabs and strange little walking mud fish as far as the eye can see. So, we hopped a (smelly) bus and rode north, to Halloways Beach. Turns out, swimming in Australia (in the tropics, anyway) is something of a hazard. We were forced to swim in a netted area about the size of a 7-11. For some reason, despite the heat, we were the only two in the water. And of course, the entire time you're in the water, you see this net bobbing along beside you. And when you see this net, you think, wow, they're trying really hard to keep something out, aren't they? But boy, that net sure looks flimsy - and is that a tear?

Truth be told, they're trying to keep many somethings out, although the primary culprits are the saltwater crocodiles and the Irukandji (tiny, deadly jellyfish). Bobbing along in the ocean, we suddenly realized we were the only two in the water.

"Did you feel that?" Pat asks.

"Feel what?" Jen replies.

"Something just brushed my leg."

"Not funny."

"I'm not kidding."

Needless to say, we didn't stay in the water all that long (and no, there was no croc - I'm just a cruel prankster).

The locals keep large jugs of vinegar in posts along the beach. Supposedly, pouring vinegar on an Irukandji sting numbs the pain a bit. Unfortunately, the little suckers tend to float along in giant killer swarms... Anyway, Irukandji season is just coming to an end, so maybe we'll head back for a dip in the near future. Who's really scared of a croc, anyway?

That's all for now - here's a spider I walk past daily on my way to the library (you may have to click on the image and zoom in for a better look).

A POLAR BEAR IN THE TROPICS

Hey everyone! Or maybe I should say "cheers" or "howzit?" I've officially made it to Cairns (actually, I've been here over a month now). Jen and I found a two bedroom apartment about a minute's walk from the view above. According to the groundskeeper, the building was a brothel during World War II (he swears it's true, but says the landlord, a sweet old grandma sort, would never admit to such a thing). So it's sort of like living in my own little piece of history. Maybe if I listen hard on a dark, stormy night, I'll hear the ghosts of...never mind.

So you may have noticed the title of the post - it's how I've felt for the past month. Cairns is HOT! The first time I walked the 2 km to the grocery store, then trudged home with a gallon of milk (3 L, really, but I'm not yet acclimated to the metric system) and a gallon of OJ, a backpack full of groceries on my back, I thought I'd melt. But we're going into winter, so it should stay "Cairns cool" (28-29 C ~ 80s F) for the next six months or so. I told the groundskeeper it wasn't winter without snow - he mumbled something along the lines of "damn yank."

That's enough for now. I'll send you off with a picture of my favorite furry flying buddies, hanging out in the trees around the library.